Finally!! I don't know what happened with the comment area on the Winter narrative so I put a new post here so that every on can comment. I did like your story, but there were a number of areas that seemed like proofreading aloud would have helped you.
It seems like everyone played a bunch of video games over break. I thought it was funny because i pretty much spent my entire break playing video games too. Would u recommend this game to a friend? I noticed you used do instead of due once but you used both kinds correctly once as well. I also liked the 130 hour estimate on game time because that is probably about right.
You did a good job with your writing by being very descriptive. I felt that you did not stay on one topic too long and gave a lot of information for its length. I don't think that it makes you a nerd becuase you knew what game you wanted, just prepared. You definately spent a huge amount of time with that game. Because of your story i want to play it.
I relate because I played games all break too. I liked the beginning most out of all. Personally, I think you should of played Madden 09 like me. Maybe next time you can work on word choice to vary your selection. I have the same word choice problem, good job tho. THATS A LOT OF GAMING. . .
Finally!! I don't know what happened with the comment area on the Winter narrative so I put a new post here so that every on can comment. I did like your story, but there were a number of areas that seemed like proofreading aloud would have helped you.
ReplyDeleteTotal 40/50 80%
It seems like everyone played a bunch of video games over break. I thought it was funny because i pretty much spent my entire break playing video games too. Would u recommend this game to a friend? I noticed you used do instead of due once but you used both kinds correctly once as well. I also liked the 130 hour estimate on game time because that is probably about right.
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job with your writing by being very descriptive. I felt that you did not stay on one topic too long and gave a lot of information for its length. I don't think that it makes you a nerd becuase you knew what game you wanted, just prepared. You definately spent a huge amount of time with that game. Because of your story i want to play it.
ReplyDeleteI relate because I played games all break too. I liked the beginning most out of all. Personally, I think you should of played Madden 09 like me. Maybe next time you can work on word choice to vary your selection. I have the same word choice problem, good job tho. THATS A LOT OF GAMING. . .
ReplyDelete